Depression and Mind Games. The Legacy of Larry B. Risvold.

12932973_958968220876744_1849849891862820033_nUPDATE BELOW: MR RISVOLD SPEAKS.

“If a man is deceitful with those he claims an affinity  for how much more so will he be to strangers.”

“No more than you can make a silk purse from a sow’s ear can you make a boy into a man by putting him in a uniform. A uniform is the mask of a coward who would blame others for his evil deeds, whereas, a man will own up to the responsibility of correcting his own misdeeds.”


save“Rape by deception is a crime in which the perpetrator has the victim’s sexual consent and compliance, but gains it through deception or fraudulent statements or actions.”

Depression is real. It should never be used as someone’s toy. It is a game of Russian Roulette and the wrong spin could pull up the round in the chamber.

What I am about to write may cause me to be attacked or ridiculed but it was the mind games of one person that brought me to the verge of taking my life and if not for the concern of friends I would no longer be here today. And if this in any way helps to save another life then what I will go through is worth it.

thbepzgrm8Roughly three and a half years ago I became involved in an affair with a married man. I warned him going in about my depression and he didn’t even bother to understand what I was saying, mainly because he was willing to sacrifice my life for his own pleasure. As the affair progressed I fell in love and he was well aware of my feelings but proceeded to use that to his advantage. He would punish me by withholding his attention until I played nice as it were. He made sure the entire relationship revolved around what he wanted and this of course started to wear on my depression. I was down to 96 lb., from 120, when he finally deserted me after promising that would never happen. But that was just one of the many lies he told me.

In the beginning he was telling me they were talking about a divorce, that he no longer loved her and would leave her as soon as he got his disability from the military. He was turned down for his disability and that changed the way he treated me.  He refused to talk to me when I really needed him to and when I would tell him how sick I was getting from his coldness toward me he would tell me to just get over it. I repeatedly told him for a depressed person that wasn’t possible.  He never cared.quote-a-man-who-becomes-used-to-deluding-himself-who-fails-to-face-his-own-faults-with-revolutionary-ashraf-dehghani-117-39-90

He told me his wife had cheated on him right after they were married and he wasn’t even sure his son was going to be his. He said she had other affairs over the years. I can only wonder now if she ever cheated on him at all or he was just playing for sympathy.

Over the years he would say things to make me feel he did love me and then he would turn around and pull the rug out from under me by saying cold and hurtful things. And yes, he did tell me he loved me. I now know what he meant was he loved the way I made him feel.  And any time I raised concerns he would assure me I meant something to him. That he wasn’t going anywhere. Lies on top of lies on top of lies. He would promise things and never follow through in what only now appears as trying to keep me down and submissive.thv13wj08u

He said he would leave her but she would get his money and even said to me one time he would kill her if she did get it. He told me he loathed her with such venom in his voice it scared me at the moment. He repeatedly told me and his friends how he wanted to just get away from her.

thna25tv3xWhen I would be hurt and crying he would laugh at me and tell me to grow a thick skin. He would push for sex even when I was crying. He pushed for sex even when I was in a weakened state. It was all about him and satisfying him. He never cared about me or what became of me. I honestly think he did want me to die. That would have solved his problem.

During the last political campaign he even was so cold as to attack a candidate over his “alleged” infidelity. When I asked him to stop as he too was having an affair he said it was ok because he wasn’t running for office. The affair we had was on going  when he ran for office and when I mentioned it he simply said we didn’t get caught.  I was hurt he had did this but he didn’t care. His attacks got worse against this candidate.

He is a retired Marine who talks about honor but has no honor. It meant nothing to him to hurt someone who could least afford it. If I had taken my life he would never had cared. He never checked to see if I was ok. I think he had hoped I would take my life.

thThank you Larry B. Risvold for ruining my life and destroying a loving heart just because you could, and for what?  SEX. Thank you for raping my soul.

If you are married and are thinking about an affair please reconsider it because a moments pleasure isn’t worth the life of another.

Update: I believe Mr. Risvold has been riding by my house in an attempt to intimidate me. I have no proof but it sounds like his dog that has a distinctive voice.  I have witnessed him beat his dog in the past Just for barking. And he has left bruises on my arms showing no concern .  I do not know what he is capable of. At the time I thought he was unaware of what he was doing but in light of remarks he has made and what appears to be an attempt to harass me has me worried. Mr. Risvold lives a life of illusion and any thing that threatens his appearance to those around him becomes a threat to him.

Bruises Mr. Risvold left on my arm.

Bruises Mr. Risvold left on my arms. Bruises Mr. Risvold left on my arm.




You tell yourself over and over exactly what you want to say hoping it all comes out clear but I can never express enough or in adequate words what hell I live through everyday with the depression. And when someone comes along and plays on the weakness of my disability I have to wonder what kind of person would do that knowingly. I don’t know if Mr. Risvold returned to my world just to get me to remove this article or if his feelings even border on sincerity. For starters, he basically used the excuse of his son finding this article to contact me, never even bothering to read the article. He finally did read it and told me I needed to remove it as I was only hurting myself. Mr. Risvold overlooks the fact that I don’t give heed to what others think of me. If they want to look down on me they will always find an excuse. People who know me know how I am but those who know Mr. Risvold only know a façade. He did later admit he thought it hurt him. Seems the only ones talking negatively about it to him was his family.

Yes, even knowing the article was out there he wanted to resume our relationship. He said he had regretted pushing me away. That he thought about me all the time. Just more lies on top of more lies? I hardly know any more. Publicly he has to pretend she is the important one because of the kids and privately I am the one that is important. What kind of reasoning is that? The “kids” are adults. But mainly it is the money. I guess it takes a lot of money to live a lie so your friends and neighbors never know the truth. That there is no real love or substance in your home. Even his wife admits she doesn’t love him and only stays for the money.

4eb9f332f67d3080f93bf873f362b5efI often wonder how Mr. Risvold says, “Simper Fi” with a straight face. The goddess he honors, Fides, is also the goddess of honesty and trustworthiness, Mr. Risvold seems foreign to both concepts. Maybe trusting him to be honest was a fool’s errand.  It reminds me of the court scene in A Few Good Men where one marine says to the other something to the effect of hurting the ones they should have protected. Mr. Risvold would say “Simper Fi” means faithful to God but this is the same guy who held his middle finger toward God in my living room because the weather was going to be too bad to go boating. Not very faithful to God at all.

He kept telling me I was the one he wanted to hurt the least but his actions were to hurt me the most. I think he did things purposefully in order to make me cry just so he could watch me in pain, like it made him proud of himself.  He did take advantage of my feelings for him and it has cost me a lot. I am sure it will cost him nothing. A few slaps on the back and a few “Atta boys” and he will be so proud of his accomplishment of ruining another’s  life. But he can never be proud of being an honest man. I am sure he will be told “the whore deserved it” and he will just laugh in a drunken stupor as he downs another beer.  My emotional state has left me sick and all I can hear is Mr. Risvold saying, “Get over it.” He always thought the depression was something to laugh at and take advantage of. Just a means to an end. But then what should one expect of a man who put on a Marine uniform and trolled a church to pick up women? He brings shame to the uniform and only hides behind it because it lets him pretend he is the man he will never be.14910295_1098933856893819_7745232726036217317_n

thtp3xnc65Update: It seems Mr. Risvold doesn’t know what “over” is. He has tried sending a friend over to use me like he did. I don’t know if it is because I cut him off entirely and that made him mad or if he just feels a need to keep hurting me. He has ridden by my house when I have repeatedly asked him in the past not to. There is no reason for him to unless he is trying to hurt or harass me. He has sent me an email threatening to sue me but backed off when I reminded him what would come out in court. If he saw this post as an issue why not sue when I first posted it instead of using it as an excuse to pick up where he left off? At this point I don’t think he would be stupid enough to hurt me but I am finding out I never really knew him. He has told me I haven’t seen him when he is really mad. And anyone capable of the damage he has already caused and thought so light of is capable of anything.  My God, he told a friend he needed to “get some of that” because “she needs it”. No Mr. Risvold, she needed someone to love her, not use her. You just needed someone to use.
You wanted everything to be all about you. Well I made it all about you.

Note: No apology for enabling him to do this the whole marriage. She is just as guilty for allowing the bad behavior.

A little touch on irony…Mr. Risvold once told me when he was overseas he used the women that the sailors were keeping up because he wasn’t going to pay for sex. If what he told me was true he is now keeping up a woman who other men are using for sex without paying for it.

Everyone told me Mr. Risvold was a liar, a user and, to put it politely, a coward. I chose to give him the benefit of the doubt. It was a mistake and I apologize to everyone for not listening. Mr. Risvold has no problem with others living with the damage he has caused but takes issue with being exposed for causing it. To Mr. Risvold I will say “I am sorry you were never the man I thought you were. I am sorry you have no self-respect but that does not give you the right to disrespect others. I am sorry you never felt I deserved the truth. But mostly I am sorry I trusted a guy who felt it was ok to send another guy to my house to get sex based on lies.”

A friend told me that your perception is your reality.

Mr. Risvold once told me that she could ruin him financially an I could ruin him emotionally. If this is true, then his attempts to hurt me after the break-up were because of emotions he never fully understood. The following is an excerpt from a recent conversation. He told a mutual friend that his reason for not leaving was because of my actions. By obligations he means she will get his money (The Risvolds have shown me with stunning clarity how the love of money is the root of all evil.). He did admit to me he had allowed certain things to happen but as usual Mr. Risvold chose to blame his actions on others. He shies away from taking any blame for what he has done. He also changes his story with his audience. I could say more but for now I will let the audio below speak for itself


About Patty Motley

I have spent over 19 years trying to teach people about their rights and how they are ultimately responsible for them. View all posts by Patty Motley

25 responses to “Depression and Mind Games. The Legacy of Larry B. Risvold.

  • Risslut

    I came here from watching the video on youtube and…Dam..Fuck….(To Larry) You only stay with the bitch you’re with because the government pays you? Your wife must be a real cock sucking thunder cunt if you have to have the government pay you to live with her and you are saying this to another woman (who from all her pics looks pretty dam good to me). If she is the only woman you ever made love to she is the only woman you ever loved you fucking moron. If you can hurt her like this God only knows what you do with the women you don’t love. Run for you lives ladies.


  • debbie

    Patty, I really am sorry about what you have been through! With you being a Christian, I am surprised you took part in the sin of adultery:/ How could you have thought anything good was gonna come out of that?:/ I know if we ask we will be forgiven of that sin but we do suffer the consequences of it.


  • Time to Die | Standing Outside Looking In

    […] good enough for him to use but not good enough to love. He even had a friend post a comment on my blog telling me to kill myself. I did question him about it and he never denied it. I thank him for […]


  • TIME TO DIE. | Patty Motley

    […] good enough for him to use but not good enough to love. He even had a friend post a comment on my blog telling me to kill myself. I did question him about it and he never denied it. I thank him for […]


  • Kevin

    I think that his daughter is right. Explain that if your life sucks as bad as you say, because of this guy, why don’t you take her advice?


    • Patty Motley

      Curious Kevin, is that the same advice you would give your daughter or sister?


    • Patty Motley

      And what does it say about a father who teaches his daughter that men have the right to abuse women and their victims deserve to be attacked?


    • Patty Motley

      I can only guess you are a friend of Mr. Risvold’s from Iowa and received a link in an email from him asking you to attack me because he wants me to feel like I am the bad guy in hopes this post will come down. Well, that is not going to happen. But let’s talk about a father who told me his son-in-law threatened his daughter with both a gun and a knife, yet Mr. Risvold allowed this guy to later move into his home putting his family at risk. No self-respecting father would have ever allowed the guy back in his house. And later Mr. Risvold told me his daughter caught his wife picking up a man at a bar. So the mother is running around with whoever she wants but I am the whore? People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones Mr. Bley. But regardless, you have shown you are as shallow as Mr. Risvold and have as little respect for yourself as he has for himself. If, by chance, you are not his friend, well, like his daughter, telling someone who suffers from depression to kill themselves is cyber bullying.


    • Jose

      I would say the wife is his shame….

      Proverbs 12:4 A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.


    • Bunny

      Kevin you are sick. Maybe you and the daughter can go hang out at Mental Health clinics handing out razor blades. Jose is right, God considered cheating wives the lowest of the low.


    • Patty Motley

      There is no proof the wife cheated, just Mr. Risvold’s word.


    • Bunny

      If she didn’t cheat she is as sick as Kevin for staying with a guy running around saying she is less than a harlot. Just remember how God blessed Hagar. She was used and discarded by a married man and her offspring have been a thorn in Israel’s side ever since.


    • Risslut

      You comment is bordering on a crime if it isn’t one outright Kevin. Maybe women need to avoid you too.


  • Becky

    Patty, I came on your site to read your articles about Agenda 21 and was so impressed with the research you have done. But this knocked the wind out my sails.

    Some years ago my Dad had an affair with a woman I will call Sharon. My mom had always been abusive and had a lot of affairs and one night stands. Dad found Sharon and even though we did not know for the first time in many years he seemed happy. Latter when everyone found out the affair ended and Sharon was looked at as this monster that had entered our lives and tried to destroy our family. By the time I realized Sharon was what my dad needed it was too late. About six months after the affair ended Sharon took her life. This was when I learned the truth about my mom. Two months later was the first time I ever saw my dad cry. He told me how much he missed her and regretted he had stayed with my mom and put Sharon through what he did. Two weeks later he took his own life. My regret, I should have told my dad to be with who made him happy instead of getting on the “Evil Sharon” band wagon. It’s even too late to tell Sharon I am sorry. I now know she was a very beautiful and intelligent woman who also suffered from depression.

    I am now estranged from my mom because of how she treated my dad and will always blame her for what happened. If she didn’t love my dad she should have just left him. And as much as I miss him I even get mad at him for having stayed. I also learned he had several affairs but his time with Sharon brought out something good in him. I know for the two years they were together he was genuinely happy.

    I do hope your depression gets better. I have also done some research into this and I know it can be very hard on people who have it. You are a smart woman and we need more like you who understand what is going on in the world today. I like to think of you as Sharon’s legacy. Please don’t give up. I appreciate you even if he doesn’t. Hugs.


    • Patty Motley

      First Becky I would like to say I am sorry for your loss. But I am a bit confused on the “Sharon’s Legacy” thing. Mr. Risvold, unlike your Dad would not be bothered in the least by my death. When a Marine friend took his life Mr. Risvold managed to turn that into a 4 day drunk fest. He had often said he felt no pity for anyone who took their life and pretty sure he would have none for me. He has no respect for himself and therefore he has none for others. My time with him only brought out more lies. Since he is unable to get to me now he has taken to sending someone else to hurt me. He is that disturbed.

      I’m not sure blaming your Mother for what your Dad did is going to help. Like you said he chose to stay.

      I appreciate your concern but I believe Mr. Risvold is safe from having any genuine human feelings about those around him, especially me.


    • Patty Motley

      And just to clear up any more confusion, when his daughter found out she called me a bat shit crazy whore and told me to kill myself. She was glad her Dad used me because she was ashamed to call someone who loved her Dad her mother-in-law. This from a girl whose Mother only stays with Daddy for the money and would rather love other men.


  • Cindy

    Please research sociopathy and narcissistic personality disorder. Then, I would remove this article because it can only cause you more psychological distress, and go “NO contact.”

    Trust that this man was placed in your life to teach you and understand that you can’t spare anyone he sets his sights on next. They too, will have to learn as well.

    You’re not alone. Blessings..

    Liked by 1 person

  • Patty Motley

    Mr. Risvold does a lake clean up every year on Wateree because he says he uses it and wants to help keep it clean. Well he used me and had no problem leaving a mess. I guess when you are poor and down you don’t count in his world. Only the rich he feels a need to impress.


  • Marlene Motley

    It seems Mr. Risvold thinks he can use someone and desert them and then they are suppose to let him do it all over again. He admitted he lied to me for sex but sees nothing wrong in that.


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