UPDATE BELOW: MR RISVOLD SPEAKS
UPDATE AGAIN: WIFE STARTS HARASSMENT
What I am about to write may cause me to be attacked or ridiculed but it was the mind games of one person that brought me to the verge of taking my life and if not for the concern of friends I would no longer be here today. And if this in any way helps to save another life then what I will go through is worth it.
Roughly three and a half years ago I became involved in an affair with a married man. I warned him going in about my depression and he didn’t even bother to understand what I was saying, mainly because he was willing to sacrifice my life for his own pleasure. As the affair progressed I fell in love and he was well aware of my feelings but proceeded to use that to his advantage. He would punish me by withholding his attention until I played nice as it were. He made sure the entire relationship revolved around what he wanted and this of course started to wear on my depression. I was down to 96 lb., from 120, when he finally deserted me after promising that would never happen. But that was just one of the many lies he told me.
In the beginning he was telling me they were talking about a divorce, that he no longer loved her and would leave her as soon as he got his disability from the military. He was turned down for his disability and that changed the way he treated me. He refused to talk to me when I really needed him to and when I would tell him how sick I was getting from his coldness toward me he would tell me to just get over it. I repeatedly told him for a depressed person that wasn’t possible. He never cared.
He told me his wife had cheated on him right after they were married and he wasn’t even sure his son was going to be his. He said she had other affairs over the years. I can only wonder now if she ever cheated on him at all or he was just playing for sympathy.
Over the years he would say things to make me feel he did love me and then he would turn around and pull the rug out from under me by saying cold and hurtful things. And yes, he did tell me he loved me. I now know what he meant was he loved the way I made him feel. And any time I raised concerns he would assure me I meant something to him. That he wasn’t going anywhere. Lies on top of lies on top of lies. He would promise things and never follow through in what only now appears as trying to keep me down and submissive.
He said he would leave her but she would get his money and even said to me one time he would kill her if she did get it. He told me he loathed her with such venom in his voice it scared me at the moment. He repeatedly told me and his friends how he wanted to just get away from her.
When I would be hurt and crying he would laugh at me and tell me to grow a thick skin. He would push for sex even when I was crying. He pushed for sex even when I was in a weakened state. It was all about him and satisfying him. He never cared about me or what became of me. I honestly think he did want me to die. That would have solved his problem.
During the last political campaign he even was so cold as to attack a candidate over his “alleged” infidelity. When I asked him to stop as he too was having an affair he said it was ok because he wasn’t running for office. The affair we had was on going when he ran for office and when I mentioned it he simply said we didn’t get caught. I was hurt he had did this but he didn’t care. His attacks got worse against this candidate. (I have since discovered the candidate DID NOT have an affair but Mr. Risvold’s actions hurt his family.)
He is a retired Marine who talks about honor but has no honor. It meant nothing to him to hurt someone who could least afford it. If I had taken my life he would never had cared. He never checked to see if I was ok. I think he had hoped I would take my life.
Thank you Larry B. Risvold for ruining my life and destroying a loving heart just because you could, and for what? SEX. Thank you for raping my soul.
If you are married and are thinking about an affair please reconsider it because a moments pleasure isn’t worth the life of another.
Update: I believe Mr. Risvold has been riding by my house in an attempt to intimidate me. I have no proof but it sounds like his dog that has a distinctive voice. I have witnessed him beat his dog in the past Just for barking. And he has left bruises on my arms showing no concern . I do not know what he is capable of. At the time I thought he was unaware of what he was doing but in light of remarks he has made and what appears to be an attempt to harass me has me worried. Mr. Risvold lives a life of illusion and any thing that threatens his appearance to those around him becomes a threat to him.
You tell yourself over and over exactly what you want to say hoping it all comes out clear but I can never express enough or in adequate words what hell I live through everyday with the depression. And when someone comes along and plays on the weakness of my disability I have to wonder what kind of person would do that knowingly. I don’t know if Mr. Risvold returned to my world just to get me to remove this article or if his feelings even border on sincerity. For starters, he basically used the excuse of his son finding this article to contact me, never even bothering to read the article. He finally did read it and told me I needed to remove it as I was only hurting myself. Mr. Risvold overlooks the fact that I don’t give heed to what others think of me. If they want to look down on me they will always find an excuse. People who know me know how I am but those who know Mr. Risvold only know a façade. He did later admit he thought it hurt him. Seems the only ones talking negatively about it to him was his family.
Yes, even knowing the article was out there he wanted to resume our relationship. He said he had regretted pushing me away. That he thought about me all the time. Just more lies on top of more lies? I hardly know any more. Publicly he has to pretend she is the important one because of the kids and privately I am the one that is important. What kind of reasoning is that? The “kids” are adults. But mainly it is the money. I guess it takes a lot of money to live a lie so your friends and neighbors never know the truth. That there is no real love or substance in your home. Even his wife admits she doesn’t love him and only stays for the money.
I often wonder how Mr. Risvold says, “Simper Fi” with a straight face. The goddess he honors, Fides, is also the goddess of honesty and trustworthiness, Mr. Risvold seems foreign to both concepts. Maybe trusting him to be honest was a fool’s errand. Mr. Risvold would say “Simper Fi” means faithful to God but this is the same guy who held his middle finger toward God in my living room because the weather was going to be too bad to go boating. Not very faithful to God at all.
He kept telling me I was the one he wanted to hurt the least but his actions were to hurt me the most. I think he did things purposefully in order to make me cry just so he could watch me in pain, like it made him proud of himself. He did take advantage of my feelings for him and it has cost me a lot. I am sure it will cost him nothing. A few slaps on the back and a few “Atta boys” and he will be so proud of his accomplishment of ruining another’s life. But he can never be proud of being an honest man. I am sure he will be told “the whore deserved it” and he will just laugh in a drunken stupor as he downs another beer. My emotional state has left me sick and all I can hear is Mr. Risvold saying, “Get over it.” He always thought the depression was something to laugh at and take advantage of. Just a means to an end. But then what should one expect of a man who put on a Marine uniform and trolled a church to pick up women? He brings shame to the uniform and only hides behind it because it lets him pretend he is the man he will never be.
Update: It seems Mr. Risvold doesn’t know what “over” is. He has tried sending a friend over to use me like he did. I don’t know if it is because I cut him off entirely and that made him mad or if he just feels a need to keep hurting me. He has ridden by my house when I have repeatedly asked him in the past not to. There is no reason for him to unless he is trying to hurt or harass me. He has sent me an email threatening to sue me but backed off when I reminded him what would come out in court. If he saw this post as an issue why not sue when I first posted it instead of using it as an excuse to pick up where he left off? At this point I don’t think he would be stupid enough to hurt me but I am finding out I never really knew him. He has told me I haven’t seen him when he is really mad. And anyone capable of the damage he has already caused and thought so light of is capable of anything. My God, he told a friend he needed to “get some of that” because “she needs it”. No Mr. Risvold, she needed someone to love her, not use her. You just needed someone to use.
You wanted everything to be all about you. Well I made it all about you.
Note: No apology for enabling him to do this the whole marriage. She is just as guilty for allowing the bad behavior. But I guess for some women selling their integrity for a new car every time their husband cheats is worth encouraging the bad behavior. And yes, he told me he loved me too.
A little touch on irony…Mr. Risvold once told me when he was overseas he used the women that the sailors were keeping up because he wasn’t going to pay for sex. If what he told me was true he is now keeping up a woman who other men are using for sex without paying for it.
Everyone told me Mr. Risvold was a liar, a user and, to put it politely, a coward. I chose to give him the benefit of the doubt. It was a mistake and I apologize to everyone for not listening. Mr. Risvold has no problem with others living with the damage he has caused but takes issue with being exposed for causing it. To Mr. Risvold I will say “I am sorry you were never the man I thought you were. I am sorry you have no self-respect but that does not give you the right to disrespect others. I am sorry you never felt I deserved the truth. But mostly I am sorry I trusted a guy who felt it was ok to send another guy to my house to get sex based on lies.”
A friend told me that your perception is your reality.
Mr. Risvold once told me that she could ruin him financially an I could ruin him emotionally. If this is true, then his attempts to hurt me after the break-up were because of emotions he never fully understood. The following is an excerpt from a recent conversation. He told a mutual friend that his reason for not leaving was because of my actions. By obligations he means she will get his money (The Risvolds have shown me with stunning clarity how the love of money is the root of all evil.). He did admit to me he had allowed certain things to happen but as usual Mr. Risvold chose to blame his actions on others. He shies away from taking any blame for what he has done. He also changes his story with his audience. I could say more but for now I will let the audio below speak for itself
In an attempt to get Mr. Risvold to stop stalking and harassing me I sent him a text. His wife replied with the following. I was not looking for attention but as I have avoided being anywhere I know he may be I have asked him to afford me the same and stay away. He doesn’t seem to be able to. The irony is her accusing me of texting him for attention. I would think it would be a better method, if that had been the case, than her, according to him, method of sleeping with any random guy she can pick up at a bar. I guess when you have no self-respect it’s hard to respect the boundaries of others. And she thinks he tells her everything. That’s priceless.
Her last comment was they are going to block my number. That is great if it will keep her husband from riding by my house. He is the one who can’t seem to let go. I wonder if he told her he still had plans to come over after I told her about us.
I wonder if he told her how many places inside the house we “made love”. How many times on the boat we “Made love”. How many motels he took me to. How he thinks her mother is a bigger “B” than her. How people are saying they only took her mother in to get her money and they have a rather crude reputation at the VFW. (This last from someone who doesn’t even know them but hears the talk.). And that if I left he would just find someone else because she is a “chore” and no fun to have sex with. That he tells people she has to watch porn to have sex. Oh, and I wonder if he told her he told a friend he was going to leave her for me. Yeah, I doubt he tells her everything. BTW, I was told the two are trying to play a game of CYA because neither can handle people knowing the truth about them.
In an attempt to put all this behind me, and thinking Mr. Risvold had decided to leave me in peace after I informed his wife he is still riding by my house, I had removed this post. Well, I guess fearing I would get a restraining order against him he has now put his wife up to doing his dirty work. I have noticed every time I remove the post the Risvolds do something to harass me. I have notice activity on my blog after taking the post down like someone was doing a search that kept landing them on my homepage. I think it is their intent to keep the post up. At this point I do fear for my safety as I have no idea what these two are capable of and also feel a need to keep this post up to document the ongoing harassment in case something does happen to me. I was warned by an advocate for abused women that the wife may get in on the harassment. After laying a little groundwork I will post her latest text to me below.
Some time back I got a friend to ride to Wal-Mart with me. As we were walking through the rear of the store I was looking down at my phone and noticed someone walking by. I looked up and it was the wife about to break her neck looking at me. When she finally caught my attention she looked immediately away. I just kept walking on and when away from her I told my friend who she was. He had been watching her and said he wondered what her problem was. He said she looked crazed.
Later as we were leaving the store I checked the checkout counters to make sure she was nowhere around so I would not run into her. As I was paying I looked up and noticed she was at the next checkout over. I proceeded to ignore her but my friend noticed she was staring intently at me and said he couldn’t see how she was able to get the groceries out of her cart as she couldn’t stop staring. I told him to ignore her and we left.
As I was driving home on a four lane road. I noticed she was behind me in the opposite lane and appeared to be trying to catch up. My friend said he needed to stop at a store for cigarettes so I changed lanes. At this time she move over in the opposite lane. I made a turn and if her intent was to harass it was halted by traffic.
Jump to the present. As I said I had removed this post after no harassment since July. Then out of the blue I receive the following text. If I feel I am being harassed under state law I have to inform them to stop and if they continue it is harassment.
Now, I realized from the start this was going to be another Risvold game of harassment and informed her I wanted none of it. There was no reason for her to contact me and I had been told they were blocking me. In fact she had called prior to the text and as I thought they would leave me alone I didn’t bother to block them or label her number. As soon as I became aware of who she was I hung up. But her first words to me were “I know you are recording this” so she was in no way worried about that. I have to record my calls because of a call from her in the past talking filthy to me. She had informed me on that call I didn’t record that she didn’t love her husband and got paid off when he got caught. The last time it was a car. I guess a cruise and renewed vows, from someone who didn’t care about them the first time, is a bigger pay day. Must be sad to be able to be bought off. He wanted to buy me stuff but I wouldn’t let him because I told him it felt like he was trying to buy me. The Risvolds don’t understand, you can’t buy love any more than you can buy integrity or class but God knows they try.
She was not a “victim” as she appears to have no qualms about his infidelities as long as she got bought and even had no problem taking him back. He told me once when she was mad at him she told him if he wanted sex he would have to see me. He also told me it was nice to know there was someone out there who did love him and she only saw him as a paycheck. I ate one meal she cooked but she also ate food I took there. And her husband use to eat at my house while complaining that she never cooked for him. Her daughter did cut my hair once but I paid her, and a lot more than any hair cut is worth. And I only did that because her husband told me I should get her to cut my hair in front of the daughter. Was I suppose to hurt the daughters feelings because of dad? But dad was trying to score me a free haircut. That I would not accept. But where was her concern for her daughter when, according to the husband, the daughter was forced to move out so married what he was telling me was an emotionally abusive husband who she later divorced. He told me the wife was emotionally abusive toward the daughter. The daughter even stood in their garage and told me her mother was always saying the husband was the issue but that turned out not to be true. Mom was the issue. The husband also told me he thought the daughter knew about us and approved. She did catch us together one night. He told me he told her the next day she needed to find her own place.
I called her at work only to tell her to keep her husband home and away from me because I did not have her cell number and wasn’t risking him intercepting a call at home AFTER he told me to call her. Yeah, he did. Twice. But he was drunk on the lake at the time. I had just caught him in yet another lie. He said we were over and he didn’t love me but he would be over to see me the following Tuesday. I was going to make sure he never showed. Later I asked if that was the truth or if he was just mad. He said he was just mad. So if I had not told her guess where he would be now.
She wasn’t lying when she told me he had been cheating because he admitted to me he had. He said the kids knew about his cheating but were unaware of hers. And nothing I have posted is against the law. Mr. Risvold set the bar when he attacked a political candidate for having an affair that never took place. I repeatedly asked him to stop as he had no proof but he refused. He also attacked his own son on facebook. It seems to be OK when he wants to attack people but he can’t stand the finger being turned back on him.And every time before Mr. Risvold touched me I told him not to touch me unless he loved me and wanted a future with me. He understood that fully well. He even told a friend he had planned to leave her for me.
And No, I wasn’t trying to hurt them but trying to keep him from continuing to hurt me. I told him if I found out he was lying to me I was slamming that door so hard he would be afraid to knock again.
Like I said, his story changes with his audience. And NO, they were not thinking of me or she would have left me alone. He would have told her to. As to why they feel a need to keep things going is beyond me but I figure either she is afraid he does have feelings for me and wants me mad at him, if she was confident in her relationship she would have left me alone, or they needed the post up to sue. Money means that much to them it seems. There is the possibility that they were trying to push me over the edge as both know I suffer from depression and suicidal ideations.
I also sent him a text to tell her to stop. So they were both informed. I have blocked both to prevent further harassment. Again, this latest started immediately after I had removed the post. I have found they leave me alone when it is up. So for my safety and hopes of keeping the harassment from escalating I am leaving it up. I was told to document every thing and this will show everyone what I am up against.
I just find it sad he now has to use her to do his dirty work. No matter how much I try to stay out of their lives they are the ones who feel a need to drag me back in. The mind games with these two are astounding.
The entire time we were together he never once told me he loved her. He even told me he only got married because he wanted to be married at the time. He told me he had told her he didn’t love me and when I asked him which one of us he lied to he said her. I had asked him once if he loved her and he said he loathed her and would kill her if she got his money. When I pointed out he had never told me all he said was, “Isn’t that interesting.” The sad part is neither will ever truly be able to trust the other’s love. He once told me a local lawyer told him the wife didn’t love him just by watching them interact.
Mr. Risvold has shown me his jealous side and he hoped to destroy me but he didn’t see the support I received from friends who have helped me to realize I deserve someone better than him and one day I may find someone decent and caring to share my life with. Mr. Risvold seems to fear that will happen and seems to want me to stay down. It is sad if they are so miserable in their pretend lives they want everyone else to share in their misery. A friend told me it must be miserable for him to be stuck pretending he cares for someone he obviously doesn’t. And if you listened to his audio above you can hear how easy it is for him to feign sincerity. Just ask yourself, “Is this the normal actions of happy people, to continue to harass someone who has stayed out of their lives?”.
What she fails to understand is that I sent him away by telling her. Now she will have to wonder if he is thinking of me when he touches her. His words after I told her, ” I still think about a simple hug from you, your kiss, and just having my arm around you. Yes we were magical in other areas, off the charts if I may but hurting you was never what I wanted to do. You will always be in my heart. Like I said you are a wonderful woman who I will never forget.” She will have to wonder if he loves her or just the money. Like he said, “If you can’t be with the one you love then love the one you’re with.” He said his theme song with me was I fooled around and fell in Love.
I should also point out Mr. Risvold had told me if he did not have access to me he would do this to someone else. I lived with the guilt of remaining silent about a rape for almost 30 years and don’t want to live with the guilt of him doing this to others.
But this all could have been avoided if mr. Risvold, in an attempt to hurt me, had not put her on his phone to talk ugly to me and had not sent another man to my house hoping he could get sex, if mr. Risvold had ceased his riding by my house the times I asked him to stop and he had just come clean with me about what he had done, how he had lied to me and apologized for having done so. She actually had my sympathy for having to live with this guy up until the point that she took his phone and talked ugly to me. At that point she lost all sympathy. And this last attempt to hurt me while pretending to be nice shows me that maybe he wasn’t lying about how ugly she was at all. The funny part is her saying that she lied about her husband because she was mad at him. No matter how mad I got at him I never lied about him. He had told me that she told him when she was mad at him before that she was going to become my best friend and pick me for information on him to use in a divorce and maybe that was her intent. If so I’m pretty sure she was upset it did not go her way. One friend pointed out that there’s the possibility that she thinks he’s cheating again and this was the test to see if it was with me. But most people I spoke to believe that she’s mad at him and taking it out on me. If she’s mad at him she needs to take it out on him. It is also been pointed out to me that there’s a high probability he is over there now lying to her about me. But the most telling thing to me is that she went from attacking me on his phone to attacking me on her phone. But there’s no surprise to me that two people who lie to and about each other, if they do as they appear to, would make a happy couple. And I might would believe it if they both had not told me they only stayed for the money.
Hell, maybe Mr. Risvold just can’t handle a “real” woman. (His words)
From yesterday morning. At least I know call blocker works.
Mr. Risvolds tactics appear to mirror those discussed in the article below.
“If a man is deceitful with those he claims an affinity for how much more so will he be to strangers.”
“Rape by deception is a crime in which the perpetrator has the victim’s sexual consent and compliance, but gains it through deception or fraudulent statements or actions.”